New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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