Umm I'm too high to move.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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