i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
