Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize