Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
