im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
