did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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