Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
