My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.