wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize