we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize