You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
