You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
