If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
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I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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