whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
