Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  i was rollin on her like bob the builder

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  (318): i was rollin on her like bob the builder http://tfl.nu/6lwa
  Replies (3) Good night (2286) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.

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  (845): when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me. http://tfl.nu/56i6
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (2936) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...

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  (636): this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for... http://tfl.nu/dqoy
  Replies (17) Good night (4237) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.

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  (858): I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project. http://tfl.nu/6v94
  Replies (10) Good night (3034) Bad night (1190) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool

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  (817): Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool http://tfl.nu/oo5b
  Replies (5) Good night (936) Bad night (2434) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.

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  (231): I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this. http://tfl.nu/nn25
  Replies (5) Good night (1626) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...

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  (317): Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ... http://tfl.nu/clq5
  Replies (6) Good night (754) Bad night (1708) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.

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  (208): You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish. http://tfl.nu/85ra
  Replies (9) Good night (435) Bad night (1458) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk

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  (410): I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk http://tfl.nu/te86
  Replies (12) Good night (1118) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover

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  (630): I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover http://tfl.nu/rxwn
  Replies (6) Good night (831) Bad night (1069) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.

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  (316): I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/j3xl
  Replies (6) Good night (787) Bad night (1154)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.

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  (501): He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit. http://tfl.nu/208i
  Replies (10) Good night (1384) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.

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  (512): Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely. http://tfl.nu/gnvv
  Replies (4) Good night (891) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.

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  (847): I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B. http://tfl.nu/1rlu
  Replies (8) Good night (402) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!

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  (949): YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER! http://tfl.nu/b6lu
  Replies (3) Good night (385) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt

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