Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.