watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night