I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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