Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.