dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs