I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences