If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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