while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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