I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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