This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.