This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
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I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off