Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime