I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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