i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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