she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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