I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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