Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize