I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize