i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize