so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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