pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I deserve this hangover.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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