Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
