i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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