Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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