I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize