I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize