There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
