the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize