Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
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I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
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New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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