Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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