Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
