So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize