so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize