Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
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Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
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Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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