The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Operation Purity has been aborted
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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