A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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