I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
