Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
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You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize