i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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