I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize