The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
her vagine was all disorganized.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
