it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
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She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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