You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize