The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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